PISMIRE of humans
in QUAGMIRE of hope
WRIER of faith
LED me to a slope
looking at the slope made me THINK
what led me here to this BRINK
the answers seem to come from beyond and WITHIN
i am to blame for my CURSE and my SIN
i guided myself to this JINX
and i am the one to SHATTER its realms
demolishing the spell was NEVER the problem
but the fear of the AFTERMATH was too difficult to handle
WALKING BACK from life was never too hard
but the LEDGE asked me questions life never asked
these questions are the REASONS for me to stay
to BROOD over issues like why am i here today
i wont GO until i find my answers
answers which QUENCH my thirst in every which way
BACKING OUT of life was never too tough
but TOUGH were the questions ASKED by the ledge
since i just had a new LEASH of life
i set out to question back at LIFE
the ledge made me question life in a whole NEW WAY
it made me PONDER about the way we SWAY
the questions it asked had its OWN answers
answers so CONVOLUTED which desired to DISARRAY
may be CONFUSION was its MEDIUM
its way to SAY
that life is here WITH YOU to stay
the more i CONTEMPLATE about life and its ways
i never fail to see how it
plays with ME
plays with YOU
even plays with SELF
to glare its HUE
the more i wonder about life and its IMBUE
i always amazingly end up LOVING LIFE IN TRUCE . . .
in QUAGMIRE of hope
WRIER of faith
LED me to a slope
looking at the slope made me THINK
what led me here to this BRINK
the answers seem to come from beyond and WITHIN
i am to blame for my CURSE and my SIN
i guided myself to this JINX
and i am the one to SHATTER its realms
demolishing the spell was NEVER the problem
but the fear of the AFTERMATH was too difficult to handle
WALKING BACK from life was never too hard
but the LEDGE asked me questions life never asked
these questions are the REASONS for me to stay
to BROOD over issues like why am i here today
i wont GO until i find my answers
answers which QUENCH my thirst in every which way
BACKING OUT of life was never too tough
but TOUGH were the questions ASKED by the ledge
since i just had a new LEASH of life
i set out to question back at LIFE
the ledge made me question life in a whole NEW WAY
it made me PONDER about the way we SWAY
the questions it asked had its OWN answers
answers so CONVOLUTED which desired to DISARRAY
may be CONFUSION was its MEDIUM
its way to SAY
that life is here WITH YOU to stay
the more i CONTEMPLATE about life and its ways
i never fail to see how it
plays with ME
plays with YOU
even plays with SELF
to glare its HUE
the more i wonder about life and its IMBUE
i always amazingly end up LOVING LIFE IN TRUCE . . .
17 comments:
so iam the first one to comment on it huh?? see the benifits of google reader??:P
anyways...nice poem but a small suggestion, dont try to purposefully rhyme ur sentences. sometimes it appears forced. (this was also suggested to me sometym back:P)
hey ya thanx n
umm no i didnt try to make the poem rhyme whr it cudnt
its GOOD aayush!!
BUT i too feel the same....at some places it seems like you have forcibly used the words to rhyme your sentences..though you haven't done that intentionally
n yes u didn't try to make it rhyme where it couldn't....but u DID try to make it rhyme where it could..MAY b it would have been better if you wouldn't have TRIED to make it rhyme..
n again making your sentences rhyme where they can is a part of writing poems i guess so..........................(confused) :D
yes rhyming whr it cud is a part of poetry
n if none of the lines wud rhyme we cud call it an essay rather than poem i guess ;)
n umm if we didnt try n rhyme none of the parts of a poem then i guess the poem will rather lose its essence the reason for which its endeared..
but yes tht kind of poem which doesnt hav a rhyming scheme is known as "FREE VERSE" but its not challenging enuf.a poem excites us coz it makes us improvise within its pattern...thts whr the beauty n the challenge lies otherwise evry essayist and novelist and journalist could hav written a poem or two :P
although i do believe no form of art has any bounds but sometimes some bounds do form a piece of art :)
no more confusions
thank you!
hari omn!!
i just meant when you don't TRY to MAKE it rhyme,it feels like straight from heart kinda thing....again it depends on the mood of the writer when he is writing i think so........
soory but...why a 'which' again :answers which QUENCH my thirst in every which way
..Actually this poem is puttin in too many questions in my mind rather than answers[:P]...may be i m too much a part of...(u knw best wht cud follow[:P])
and i really think the rhyme thingis fyn...u havnt written obvious rhyming words..may b dats y every1 is disturbed...but dats wht makes u rethink...adds a new dimension!
no..not necessarily. its not that if ur poem doesnt rhyme, it wont be a poem:P
but if ur poem doesnt rhyme...it vl b called ....FREE VERSE.....
n the problem wid free verse is....its not challenging enuf....
its like ......
i am a guy
she are a cow
donkeys bray
n you produce more methane gas than elephants do
.....;)
n yes here is the oxofrd dictionary meaning of a poem-A composition written in metrical feet forming rhythmical lines.
thr has to be a rhythm.....evn a free verse has to hav a rhythm in order for it to be called a poem.....
listen...aayush...and twinkle..m at a fail to understand y r we fighting here??!!
first things first...aayush..u have tried to do a 'not-d-usual' rhyming scheme...wht u set out to do i dont knw..but wht is obvious is....u have created a pattern of rhyme which is not like our usual nursery rhyme!
And as i said and alwayz say...dis is english...dis is poetry...and when hindi words r finding place in cambridge dictionaries...i m sure evry one is goin to agree dat english literature is undergoin a change of definitions.....
so dat implies aayush ..u r absolutely free to express wht ever and however
comin to wht twinkle thinks(i dont knw u ..so HI!![:)])...she thinks aayush has written words purposefully ....nw if u see it in another way he is going off d beaten track...and using words which though sound purposeful...but actually implore d reader to think beyond d usual notions...and if one tries one can make umpteen meanings out of english words..
abhu is right when she says all poems dont have to rhyme in words...but wht oxford says is d metre or flow is essential for a poem.....it gives d real feel of a poem...
and here is a free verse if u like to check out :
http://www.pshares.org/issues/article.cfm?prmarticleID=8627
nw plz excuse me!!!!
(ufff!! i m sweatin nw)
yes tht FLOW is necessary...tht scale.....in oder words it shud b coherent in nature.....n no1 fighting here yaar....
hello shalinee!
hmm....u r correct n as aayush said no one is fighting dear!!:)
kisi ne mujhe miss kiya??......:P
ikindalikeditverymuch..
p.s-genius are people who simplify things
yes tht line was first used by me !mind ya :P
but ofcourse after einstein ;)
this is a very very deep poem.
i feel so blessed to read this right now.i wish i could thank you in person.
the way in which you have put the words are commendable n par excellence.
if a guy reads this poem at the right time, he will surely give his life another chance.
you are a hope of kindling light for the literary world.people like me are waiting for you to shine and leave an afterglow onto people who read your stuff.thats the hallmark of a true writer, someone who makes people think and reflect on themselves after they have read a piece of writing.i think you are up there already
athena,
(hey how old are you? m 29 n single....u game for my hunypot? ;)
hit me hard on myspace id : 51376185 ) bye
hoping a reply
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